October 7 – 40 Days Off

Well, I am 40 days off Protopic. My skin definitely went downhill compared to last Monday when I had a nice break. Not sure if it is from the homeopathic medication, my period coming, or just flaring again. I have had oozing neck, ears, stomach, legs, and back. Last night I woke up through the night and tore my skin to pieces!  I am all red today and have a ton of scratch marks. I also now have eczema on my toes. I feel colder today, which could be from my skin being worse or maybe because it is easier to keep warm at home over the weekend. My skin is very dry and flaky. I have to reapply cream to my face and neck several times through-out the day. I don’t really reapply it anywhere else but anytime I move my skin burns, so I try to just sit in one place. The elephant skin has gotten worse on my feet too and I still have it on my hands and also my thighs now. My eyes are still very dry and constantly have yellow gunk in them. I have to put eye drops in first thing in the morning and pick the crust off around my eyes. I have also noticed my eye color has darkened a bit and the white part of my eye is a bit yellow. I have edema in my legs and feet pretty bad and get it in my hands too. I need to remember to drink more water! I have been very emotional. I think I am getting some anxiety about having to work two jobs. I can mostly get through my full-time day job, even though some days I am rather distracted, but the thought of then having to go to my part-time second job has really been upsetting me and bringing me to tears every time I have to go there. I can’t quit this job though, as much as I want to. I have too much debt that I am trying to pay off (and not doing very good at it) so I have to keep it for now. One thing that this whole mess has taught me is that I must get my debt paid off quickly. I do not want to have to work two jobs. It is just too hard on my body. Anyhow today I’m feeling okay though, despite my worsening condition, but my moods change hour to hour, so in a couple hours I could be in tears about my skin again. Also I notice if I don’t get enough sleep I am way more emotional too. Since my skin is so bad today I am determined not to pick or scratch. I will take Benadryl all day if I have too. I am worried about getting infections, so I just want it to heal. I am also thinking of pick up some Epsom’s salts but that means I have to clean the bathtub! Haha I hate doing that but it must be done. I am still exhausted and even now am almost falling asleep in my chair (its noon). I have been taking one Zopiclone to sleep and then two Benadryl’s and two Ibuprofen’s to help me sleep and concur the itchiness and skin sparklers. Seems to work for now but I am almost out of Zopiclone and I will have to go back to the doctor to get more, which I am dreading.

Just for anyone wondering what I am using on my skin right now, for cream I use Cetaphil cream (in the tub) and then Vaseline on top of that. It only lasts a few hours. The Cetaphil does sting me a bit though, so I would maybe like to try something else but im kinda afraid to. I am also using Zinc Oxide cream on my hands and toes for the tiny blisters.

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