This past month has been hard. Flaring STILL. I think this is about six weeks into the flare now. I hope it quits soon. I’m weary of it.
My eyes are swollen everyday, and every morning I have to pry them open with my fingers because they are glued shut. I have little cuts around them which is painful. I am loosing my eyebrows again.
My face and neck are very red. People keep asking if I am sunburned. Ugh. I also have all these little cuts on my neck from scratching, which are a pain and my neck has been oozy if I scratch too much.
Areas that I previously thought were healed, such as my thighs and tummy, have flared again. Although it is a weak flare in those spots, they are now itchy and splotchy again.
I have been wearing gloves all day again because my hands are more blistered and sore.
The dryness and flakiness increased again. Vacuuming my bed out each day again.
I have been feeling down and depressed. This flare has been hard but not as hard as my first flare. I feel like I’m back in my third or fourth month rather than my eleventh. I have resorted back to scouring peoples blogs and the ITSAN forum to see if this is normal. From what others say it seems to be my anniversary flare. Emotionally and mentally this has been a rough flare. I want to be normal again. I haven’t really even been enjoying the summer; too consumed in my skin.
If I am being positive which is hard to do right now I will say I think it is getting better very very slowly. Today my flaking was decreased.
I can only hope and pray and trust God it will get better from here.
Almost 11 months off Protopic.
Funny…. Yesterday I was going to post an update on how I thought this flare was on its way out, but then on my way to my second job I had an itch fest on my neck, and then another one after work that resulted in quite a bit of oozing, and then another one after my shower before bed that lasted almost an hour and was just so hard to stop myself. How frustrating. It is mentally draining. I am so ready for this rollercoaster to be over. I want normal skin. I don’t want to be flaky, itchy, red, or in pain any more. 😦 I completely understand how the vets say some of the later flares are harder mentally. This flare has not been nearly as bad as my first one, but it is just so hard when you see yourself healing and doing well and then you slowly start going backwards. My hands are worse, I am back to wearing my cotton gloves all day again. My neck is still bright red, constantly flaky, itchy, and a bit oozy. Today my face is red and feels sunburned although I have not been in the sun. And I am just exhausted from this darn insomnia.
I did try the sun a few days last week, just 10 minutes at a time, but I think I need to wait till this flare dies down. I do think this flare is getting better, although it’s hard to tell after last night, but my eyes have stopped constantly leaking. They are only leaky a couple times a day now rather than all day. I hope this is a sign that my flare is dying out.
I am off on vacation next week for two weeks! I am so excited. I need the rest and I am hoping it will help my body to do some massive healing.. please, please, please!
Just have to keep saying this mantra “We will heal. We will heal. We will heal.” I have to keep reminding myself, especially through this last flare. I trust God to heal me! He is healing me!
Thought I would add some of the blogs of people who are healed! When I am going through my rougher days, I like to go back and read their blogs.
My skin is… meh.. right now. Lol Its still flared up, not really bad, but enough that it upsets me a bit. I think I am mostly worried that it will get worse, that I will end up going back to how I was my first few months. Hoping I wont. I am currently forcing myself to get a little bit of sun each day to see if that will help. I will report back the results at a later date.
These are just a few of the blogs of people that are healed. There are more out there. 🙂
I am just a few days into my 10th month and I think I must be flaring again. It has been this way for about a week or two now, but I was not really sure what was going on since it nothing near as bad as my first flare, but definitely worse than I had been. The symptoms are very manageable, but here they are…
-Constant leaky watery eyes
-Occasionally puffier eyes
-Dyer skin on my face
-Trouble sleeping again
-Hands have more blisters on them
-Neck is more flaky and oozes a bit when scratched too much. Having to vacuum the bed again each morning only because my neck is flaking so much each night. No other body part is really flaking that much.
-Neck is more sore at night, so back to taking Ibuprofen to help with the pain. (I didn’t need to take it for a few months)
Yesterday was HOT. After work I thought I would treat myself and my boyfriend and get us some ice cream from Dairy Queen. So I got us some blizzards. Ate it around 9:45 pm and by 10:15 I was starting to get itchy. I tore open the skin on my left arm crook a bit and then scratched my neck like crazy. It was that awful feeling that I could not stop scratching. I gobbled down some Benadryl and hopped in the shower. That helped ease the scratching and I felt better when I got out, but it soon started up again. I had trouble sleeping, as I have been for the last few weeks.
I initially thought my scratch fest last night was maybe an allergic reaction to the ice cream. I have been lactose intolerant in the past. But it could also be just part of this flare. Who knows…
Anyway’s that’s about it. This flare is not too bad. I suppose it could be called a mini flare? But it’s definitely annoying. Its been going on a week or two now, so hopefully it will clear up soon. Maybe this is my year flare? From what I have read people get them anywhere from 10-13 months. Ha! Hopeful wishing right. 😉
I just wanted to add a bit of happy news. I popped back to ITSAN yesterday and lo and behold a member who is also withdrawing mainly from Protopic had added an update. She was the one who made realize I was really going through withdrawal from the Protopic. Anyhow, she is now 2 years along and says she is about 90-95% healed! How wonderful! That definitely gave me a lift! I cannot wait to be there!
Hope you all are doing okay! Keep telling yourselves we will heal!